Lost in translation

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

Have you ever tried to learn a foreign language?

The words are different and they are in a different order, sometimes even after you’ve mastered the words it still doesn’t translate the way you intended. It’s the same when people speak to dogs, as explained in the following scenarios:

Walkies

Me: Do you want to go for a walk?

Daisy: Do bears shit in the woods? Is the Pope Catholic?

Me: OK, calm down while I find the lead.

Daisy: I’m so excited 🎶 I’m going to bounce around the hallway like a demented space-hopper until we go out the door.

Share and share alike

Me: OMG who farted?

Daisy: C’mon what’s a small air biscuit between friends.

Me: What the heck have you been eating.

Daisy: If you let me have the left-over curry dish, there are bound to be consequences.

Catch me if you can... bitch

Me: I think you could do with a bath.

Daisy: Dumbass, you left the back door open. Good luck trying to catch me any time in the next half an hour.

Innocent until proven guilty

Me: Who chewed up the shoe/book/packaging

Daisy: It wasn’t me.🎶

Me: Who’s been snaffling food from the cupboard.

Daisy: It wasn’t me.

Me: Then what is all this ripped up packaging doing on the floor.

Daisy: They were empty when I found them.

I got 99 problems, but money aint 1

Me: You’ve lost your tennis ball. Go find it.

Daisy: Can’t remember where I dropped it.

Me: That’s the third one this week, now I have to go to the shop and buy more. Do you realise how much money this is costing?

Daisy: What’s money?

You don’t know what’s good for me!

Me: Please stop looking at me like that.

Daisy: That was my ‘hungry eyes expression’🎶. If you don’t like that, I can do ‘absolutely famished’ or ‘edge of starvation’.

Me: You wouldn’t like what I’m eating.

Daisy: I think I would be the best judge of that.

Me: This type of food isn’t designed for dogs. It will make you fat.

Daisy: Now I’m being deprived of food and exercise!!!?

Here's a great example of words getting lost in translation:

Deck maintanence - keeping it hard

Alastair and Daisy