If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.
Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.
Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.
This is Discussions With My Dog.
Daisy’s favourite type of walk starts with getting in the car. On the way we often listen to some music, either a CD or the radio. If you were to ask me what songs I’d listened to when we’d got out of the car the chances are, I couldn’t remember a single one, that’s because most modern music is bland and forgettable. If I can remember a song it was probably written in the 60’s or 70’s or by a band that started in that era (I might stretch to the 80’s or even some later bands who fit the guidelines below).
Have people lost the ability to write great songs? Probably not. They just need some help.
Daisy’s rules on what makes a great band
1. Ditch the computers - IMMEDIATELY. A piano or an organ is fine, but any key which does anything other than play a note is prohibited. A band that uses computer generated music is compensating for their lack of talent.
2. A ‘sample’ is a measure of urine which you give to the doctor. It has no place in a song.
Lip syncing should be a criminal offence. A band must be able to play all their songs live. The only exception to this is the middle section of Queens’ Bohemian Rhapsody. If you can’t play it, then your material is fake.
3. A band must include a drummer – a real person. Would you ever go to a concert and listen to an extended drum solo played by a machine? Never. Daisy thinks the drummer is the most important member of a band. After a brilliant drum solo the drummer usually tossed his sticks into the audience and Daisy loves to chase sticks.
4. A song can last more than three minutes, that’s called creativity. When played live, a five-minute song can last 20 minutes, provided it includes an epic guitar solo.
Lyrics should be sung, not spoken.
5. The lead singer should use a microphone on a stand, not one of those silly blobs of foam taped to their cheek. It makes you look like a dick. The front-man in a rock band makes the mic stand part of the performance.
6. One set of clothes per show is sufficient in the wardrobe department. Changing your costume does not make the music sound any better. Catsuits, lycra and cowboy hats are perfectly acceptable attire for rock musicians and professional wrestlers, otherwise they should not be worn by gentlemen.
7. Choreographed dancers are generally surplus to requirement. They are like gift wrapping for presents.
8. Boy bands should be escorted to the back of the arena to face a firing squad armed with shotguns loaded with duck shit.
2. A ‘sample’ is a measure of urine which you give to the doctor. It has no place in a song.
Lip syncing should be a criminal offence. A band must be able to play all their songs live. The only exception to this is the middle section of Queens’ Bohemian Rhapsody. If you can’t play it, then your material is fake.
3. A band must include a drummer – a real person. Would you ever go to a concert and listen to an extended drum solo played by a machine? Never. Daisy thinks the drummer is the most important member of a band. After a brilliant drum solo the drummer usually tossed his sticks into the audience and Daisy loves to chase sticks.
4. A song can last more than three minutes, that’s called creativity. When played live, a five-minute song can last 20 minutes, provided it includes an epic guitar solo.
Lyrics should be sung, not spoken.
5. The lead singer should use a microphone on a stand, not one of those silly blobs of foam taped to their cheek. It makes you look like a dick. The front-man in a rock band makes the mic stand part of the performance.
6. One set of clothes per show is sufficient in the wardrobe department. Changing your costume does not make the music sound any better. Catsuits, lycra and cowboy hats are perfectly acceptable attire for rock musicians and professional wrestlers, otherwise they should not be worn by gentlemen.
7. Choreographed dancers are generally surplus to requirement. They are like gift wrapping for presents.
8. Boy bands should be escorted to the back of the arena to face a firing squad armed with shotguns loaded with duck shit.
The story of Montreal. Here is why you can watch it now in such spectacular quality. http://www.brianmay.com/brian/
Alastair and Daisy
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