Weather Blog

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

People are obsessed with the weather. I’ll bet when you switch on your PC, tablet or phone one of the first things you see is a Weather App.  That’s certainly true in the UK where the weather is quite variable. In some other parts of the world it’s probably more predictable e.g.

Daisy’s approach to the weather is very practical;

Me – It’s a beautiful sunny day.

Daisy – Let’s go to the woods.

Me – A bit overcast, might be showers.

Daisy – Man up, put your coat on., we’re going to the park.

Me – It’s raining., the park will be wet and muddy.

Daisy – No problem, let’s go to the beach.


A history of meteorologists 

Weather forecasting for people is a little more complicated and has been the subject of a huge conspiracy which has been uncovered by ‘Discussions with my dog’. If you regularly check the weather forecast, you’ll have worked out it is fairly unreliable., this all dates back to the early days of television. Some clever chaps working at the BBC went to the Broadcasting Director and suggested running a daily forecast. In order to do this, they needed several thousand pounds to invest in some new-fangled equipment, weather balloons and a super-computer that could predict the weather. 

The Broadcasting Director reluctantly agreed to their exorbitant demands. The clever chaps in the Meteorologists Department were actually a bunch of old reprobates and they spent most of the budget in the pub getting pissed. Instead of a super-computer they made a machine a bit like the Twister game. You spin the arrow, where it stops gives you the reading. For regions such as Scotland for example, there are four possible outcomes that are accurate 90% of the time;

1. Could be a bright start with a risk of showers later.
2. Damp and drizzly.
3. Cold and drizzly.
4. Pissing down with rain.
When the Meteorologists drinking fund dried-up, they went back to the Broadcasting Director to inform him they needed to upgrade to an even more expensive super-computer. Of course, it’s become a bit more challenging to blag the forecast with the Twister machine in the modern age of the internet and instant communication. Fortunately, there is a new phenomenon to explain this - Global Warming - it’s making the weather very unpredictable and difficult to forecast.

[Brody the Golden Retriever is the new meteorologist in town] 

If you’ve been planning a day out and been let down by a dodgy weather forecast, I suggest you pop down the Off Licence and buy a couple of bottles wine or beer, stay indoors, raise a glass to those splendid chaps in the Meteorology Department, and play a game of Twister with the kids.

Alastair and Daisy