cat vs dog

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

In the 14^th Century the English and French were at war for 100 years. That was short lived compared to a rivalry that has been going on for millennia – dogs versus cats.

In this blog Daisy and I are delving into the age-old mystery of which animal makes the better pet? So there is fair representation on both sides we have a special guest to take part in this debate – Cat. Our cat has a name but according to Daisy cats are too stupid to understand people words so, there isn’t any point giving them a name.

The debate

Daisy – Dogs understand their name. If you call a dog’s name, they will come.

Cat – this is partly true. Some dogs only respond when they want to. Have you heard of Fenton? 

Daisy – Dogs help-out with the household chores. If a morsel of food accidentally drops off your plate, a dog will be there to hoover it up.
Cat – if nobody is watching, Daisy hoovers up the food from unattended plates, or off the work surfaces.

Daisy – Dogs can do useful jobs, they can be guard dogs, guide dogs, police dogs or sheep dogs. Cats are basically like people on benefits. They laze around the house expecting someone else to look after them.

Cat – we have better hygiene. A cat wouldn’t ever consider rolling in fox shit.
Daisy – you can give a dog a bath. Ever tried washing a cat in the bath – your hands & arms will look like they’ve been through a shredding machine.

Daisy – a dog is always pleased to see you. Leave the house for 10 minutes or 5 hours, the dog will rush to the door to say hello, I’ve missed you. The only time a cat is ever interested in a person is when it wants feeding.
Cat – we’re independent, self-sufficient creatures. You can leave us at home all day and not have to worry whether we have chewed up your best pair of shoes.

Daisy – a dog is your companion; you can take us out for a walk.
Cat – you’ve just got home after a long day at work. Outside It’s cold, wet and dark. A cat is happy to curl up next to you by the fire.

Cat – we get rid of pesky vermin like mice and rats.
Daisy – I also keep the garden clear of pesky vermin, especially cats.

Conclusion

After carefully listening to both sides of the debate I can’t remember why we thought getting either a cat or a dog was a good idea.

Alastair, Daisy and Cat

parking problems and solutions

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

The problem

In an ideal wording parking would not be a matter for discussion. It would just happen. In reality finding a parking space in a place you want to park, at the time you want to park, can be a bloody nightmare. The problem has been partly solved with the invention of the multi-story carpark, but there is a catch – “An hour’s parking at Gatwick Airport? Thank you Sir, that will be £8. Please come again”.

The day after New Year, we decided to take Daisy to a beach that was about an hour’s drive away. The main carpark was partly shut due to flooding.  Although there were other carparks in the area we could not find a single space near the beach. Fortunately, we found a layby about a mile away and took Daisy for a walk over the golf course so the day wasn’t a total washout.

The underlying problem is too many cars and not enough road or carparks.

The solution

This can be resolved by technology – not science fiction, but technology we already have. We can manufacture autonomous vehicles, cars that drive themselves. 

“What if they cause an accident?” I hear you say. Fact - cars driven by computers are far safer than cars driven by people, unless you programme the cars to drive like boy-racers or some of the absolute cretins I see on the roads.

Take for example our day trip to the beach. You book an autonomous vehicle, it comes to your house at the appointed time, takes you to your destination and heads off to the next customer. The need for a massive carpark has been replaced by a small drop off zone. Use you mobile to order a return journey, in two hours you will be taken home in another autonomous vehicle.

In fact, I don’t even need to go myself. I can book a car to take Daisy to the beach by herself. I can also book another car to go and find out why Daisy didn’t get in the car that I sent to collect her.

So, if the technology is there why are we all still spending half an hour driving round a carpark looking for a space? 

There are reasons.

The problem with the solution 

Daisy has no interest in going for a walk by herself. Millions of years of doggy evolution has taught her that it’s something we do together. It’s good for me to get some exercise, otherwise I would just be loafing around the house looking at Youtube or writing more shite like this blog.

Daisy has standards. Like people, she has a preference for the type of vehicle she wants to travel in. How could she ever go the park or the beach in a vehicle that looks like this? 

The main reason why autonomous vehicles won’t catch on any time soon is the owners of Multi-story cars parks are secretly paying small fortunes to the designers of driverless cars to create vehicles that look like something Nobody would drive.

Alastair and Daisy

p.s. check out some stunt carparking clips like this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RHXg5s7wv8

doctors visit guide

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

Today Daisy and I discussed getting a Doctor’s appointment. I was complaining that in order to get a same day Doctor’s appointment you have to be ready with your finger on the dial button between the hours of 08.30 and 08.33. After that they are all gone.

How to get the first doctor’s appointment of the day

I explained to Daisy that the Doctors is like the vets. Daisy gets super excited about going to the vets. Daisy has never really been sick, she goes to the vets for a check-up, maybe injections but mostly for an expedition. At the vets, Daisy is known by name, and reputation, so we’ve come to an informal agreement where she has the first appointment of the day.

On arrival at the vets Daisy likes to get her paws up on the counter to say hello to the receptionist and check out what’s going on out back. The best bit is the waiting room – which is why we have the first appointment of the day. If she is in luck or it’s a later appointment there will be other pets to meet and greet. Maybe another dog that she can bounce around with and get the leads all tangled up. Ideally someone will have brought in a cat in a basket that is just waiting to be chased.

The consultation goes a bit like this;


Vet:      “Hello Daisy, how are you today”?

Daisy:  “I am feeling awesome” Everything is awesome - Lego movie

Vet:      “I just need to give you a quick check up”

Daisy:  “Can you rub just behind my ears and tickle my tummy"

Vet:      “You seem to be healthy, can we just pop you on the scales and check your weight”

Daisy:  “I could give you a lick instead”

Vet:      “If I give you a treat, will you get on the scales”?

Daisy:  “No problem”

Vet:      “You’re supposed to stay still until the reading settles”

Daisy:  “The treat didn’t last that long. Can I have another one”?

Private Health Care vs NHS

The privilege of going to the vets will set us back about £40 and that’s before they run any tests or prescribe any medication. So, Daisy says, if you want to phone up and get a Doctor’s appointment at your convenience, then you should be prepared to pay for it. Problem solved. In fact, if you pay the appropriate fee you might get the chance to torment a cat whilst you wait.

Alastair and Daisy

vegan dogs

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Daisy, being half Labrador is a glutton. Labrador’s are missing the part of the brain that tells them when they have had enough food. If there is an unlimited supply, they just keep eating until they are sick.

There really isn’t much Daisy won’t eat, but her favourite is whatever happens to be on my plate. Daisy applies a "Tigger strategy" to mealtimes ,as I shall explain;

Daisy “What are you having for dinner”?

Me “Fish & chips”

Daisy “Fish & chips is what Daisy’s like best”

Me “Yesterday ready salted crisps was what Daisy’s like best”.

Daisy “That’s what Daisy’s like second best”.

I decided to test this out with a simple experiment.
Me “Daisy what do you think of this; chia seeds, cacao powder, beetroot, spinach, peanut butter paste and avocado”.

Daisy “What are you going to do with it”?

Me “Stick it in the blender & make a nutritious health drink”

Daisy “Go on then”.

A few minutes later the concoction is ready.

Daisy “Looks like swamp juice”.

Me “Would you like to try some”?

Daisy “Just a lick … spit … spit … yuk … swamp juice is NOT what Daisy’s like best It’s icky, sticky, sloppy stuff. Give it to the cat”.

Detox diets. Are they healthy?

Should you ever feel the need to detox or splash out very expensive healthy diet drinks, first check out if your dog will touch it. If they refuse, then it’s probably not going to do you much good either. Personally, I recommend beer, it will not make you any healthier or help you lose weight, but it should make you happier. If you drink far too much beer you can also detox the entire contents of your stomach whilst clutching hold of the toilet bowl.

Mr Cresote from the “meaning of life” can show you an important lesson about over-indulging (be warned this video clip should not be watched during mealtimes).

Alastair and Daisy