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Welcome to my Blog

FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

ADMISSION
The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

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A big thank you to the internet for allowing any old twat to have a website.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

doctors visit guide

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

doctor

Today Daisy and I discussed getting a Doctor’s appointment. I was complaining that in order to get a same day Doctor’s appointment you have to be ready with your finger on the dial button between the hours of 08.30 and 08.33. After that they are all gone.




How to get the first doctor’s appointment of the day

I explained to Daisy that the Doctors is like the vets. Daisy gets super excited about going to the vets. Daisy has never really been sick, she goes to the vets for a check-up, maybe injections but mostly for an expedition. At the vets, Daisy is known by name, and reputation, so we’ve come to an informal agreement where she has the first appointment of the day.

On arrival at the vets Daisy likes to get her paws up on the counter to say hello to the receptionist and check out what’s going on out back. The best bit is the waiting room – which is why we have the first appointment of the day. If she is in luck or it’s a later appointment there will be other pets to meet and greet. Maybe another dog that she can bounce around with and get the leads all tangled up. Ideally someone will have brought in a cat in a basket that is just waiting to be chased.

The consultation goes a bit like this;


Vet:      “Hello Daisy, how are you today”?

Daisy:  “I am feeling awesome” Everything is awesome - Lego movie

Vet:      “I just need to give you a quick check up”

Daisy:  “Can you rub just behind my ears and tickle my tummy"

Vet:      “You seem to be healthy, can we just pop you on the scales and check your weight”

Daisy:  “I could give you a lick instead”

Vet:      “If I give you a treat, will you get on the scales”?

Daisy:  “No problem”

Vet:      “You’re supposed to stay still until the reading settles”


Daisy:  “The treat didn’t last that long. Can I have another one”?

Private Health Care vs NHS

The privilege of going to the vets will set us back about £40 and that’s before they run any tests or prescribe any medication. So, Daisy says, if you want to phone up and get a Doctor’s appointment at your convenience, then you should be prepared to pay for it. Problem solved. In fact, if you pay the appropriate fee you might get the chance to torment a cat whilst you wait.



Alastair and Daisy

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