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FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

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The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

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Saturday, September 26, 2020

The Danger of "one-click" Shopping





If you live in Britain today, you very probably have a mobile phone or a computer, and that device gives you access to your Amazon account. An Amazon account is the cyber-portal to a treasure trove of shit to buy or, in my case, an endless amount of shit for my wife to buy. Even more dangerously the Amazon account is linked to my credit card.

A few days ago, a parcel arrived in the post, it wasn’t my birthday or Christmas and I don’t remember ordering anything, but it was addressed to me. I opened it to find a large multi-pack of dental sticks. For those who are not familiar with dental sticks, they are marketed as a product to keep your dog’s teeth clean. A sort of edible tooth brush. The idea is the dog slowly chews the stick and the chewing action removes the plaque from their teeth. I don’t know what dental sticks are made from, but dogs absolutely love them. Daisy can scoff one down in less than a minute, which rather defeats the objective of cleaning her teeth.

Daisy is a Lurcher. A Lurcher isn’t the sort of dog who would consider stealing a tasty morsel as wrong. The Lurcher will simply work out how to get their snout into the cupboard or saucepan that contains the tasty morsel. The Lurcher will wait patiently until the coast is clear before making their move. They are crafty and seldom leave any evidence behind – maybe the odd piece of chewed up packaging. A Lurcher is always on the look out for an opportunity to help themselves to a snack.

So, I had a vision. My wife was trawling around Amazon looking for inspiration for something to buy. She was interested in something vaguely dog related and was on a page advertising dental sticks when the doorbell rang. Daisy was sitting by the untended computer. The cursor is hovering over the icon for a packet of dental sticks which attract her attention. Daisy hops onto the chair and steadies herself by placing a paw on the desk. Her paw hits the mouse and she has just added a packet of dental sticks to her shopping cart.

The ever helpful Amazon website prompts ‘Why not order a multi-pack’? Daisy moves her paw and instantly upgrades herself to a multipack. The website recommends placing a recurring monthly order for dental sticks. Daisy thinks that is a jolly good idea.

Amazon wants to know how she is going to pay? Dad’s credit card of course.

Finally, does Daisy want express next day delivery at an extra £1.99? Do bears shit in the woods? Of course she does.

So, you can see the dangers of ‘one click’ shopping.  I’m going to be watching the post next month to see if another box of dental sticks arrive.

Alastair and Daisy



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