welcome to my blog

Welcome to my Blog

FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

ADMISSION
The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
A big thank you to the internet for allowing any old twat to have a website.

Saturday, September 19, 2020

The Dating Game

 If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is: Discussions With My Dog:


Computers appear to have taken control of how people find relationships in the modern world. The theory is solid; there are hundreds or thousands of potential Mr or Mrs Rights out there, and a computer programme can help you whittle out the non-contenders. Does relying on technology mean we are losing some of the old inter-personal skills? Do you just end up dating people who can write the most convincing online profiles or failed contestants from Love Island with the personality of a brick?

Who needs computer dating? Success with romance is no more difficult than how a good owner would treat their best canine friend. Just follow the advice of Daisy the Dog and you’ll soon be sweeping your new date off their feet:

Don’t be a cheapskate. A gentleman always pays for dinner at the restaurant on a first date. Daisy knows the difference between standard dog food and treats.

Go somewhere nice. Driving to the beach or the woods involves a bit more planning and effort than a walk around the block. Does the place you are visiting have rabbits or squirrels?

Don’t cancel at short notice because you can’t be arsed. Come rain or shine Daisy needs a walk EVERY day. Slacking off won’t be tolerated.

An inexpensive but thoughtful gift creates a good impression. Your new lady friend might not react by dancing around like a flamenco dancer on drugs at the sight of a tennis ball (what Daisy does), but it’s the thought that counts.

Perhaps your date has spent the afternoon at the beauty salon and spent £100 on a lavish makeover. Maybe the spray tan turned out that radioactive orange colour or the hair style is a disaster zone (see below). Sometimes it’s better to just pretend the elephant in the room doesn’t exist. An ideal place for a first date could be the zoo, somewhere an elephant in the room isn’t actually going to be that noticeable - just don’t mention it.    


Alastair and daisy

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