Mansplaining and Dogsplaining

 If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is: Discussions With My Dog:

In the old days, men made all the rules. We know this system worked perfectly well because it says so in the history books (which were all written by men).

These days things are a little more tricky for blokes because there are laws about equality and discrimination. Men have to be more creative to stay ahead in the battle of the sexes, so they have resorted to some fairly dirty tactics i.e., ‘mansplaining.’

The Definition of mansplaining: the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.
This is an excellent example.

Before you can effectively mansplain, you have to understand a few rules:

1. Act as though you are the world’s most renown expert on the subject you are mansplaining.

2. You don’t need an invitation to mansplain something – women are always grateful to listen to your advice.

3. A perfect mansplain should end with the woman still rather confused and forced to admit that it’s the sort of thing that only a man would understand.

4. If the lady contradicts you she obviously hasn’t understood and you should mansplain in more simple terms.

5. If you really get stuck (the woman appears to know more than you do) introduce an analogy about the offside rule in football and proceed to mansplain that.

6. The only time it is acceptable to mansplain to a group of men is in the pub after a few pints.

So, if mansplaining isn’t an effective form of communication, then we need something else. Perhaps Dogsplaining?

I’ll give you a few examples of how Daisy the dog can make sense of very complex problems:

Me - So why is my dinner always more interesting than yours?
Daisy - Let’s swap what’s on your plate for my dog bowl.

Me - Do you need really a walk tonight?
Daisy - I’ve been sitting here staring at the wall for 3 hours waiting for you to come home. Of course I need a walk.

Me: When I let you out in the garden at midnight for a wee, is it absolutely necessary to bark your head off for 5 minutes and wake up the neighbours?

Daisy: Hell YES!

Alastair and Daisy