If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.
When you are playing a video game and your car crashes, or
you fall into a pit of molten lava, or you meet some other unfortunate ending,
you always have the option of pressing ‘Reset’ i.e. starting the level again, just
go back and fix your mistakes before they happened. What if you could have a Magic
Reset button in real life? It would have an infinite amount of possible uses.
Here are just a few examples:
Situation 1
You’re out for an afternoon stroll on the village green.
Your dog is trotting along happily by your side. The sun is shining, the birds
are singing in the trees. You notice the dog is going into the ‘squat and
shuffle round in circles’ routine, the one they do to find the perfect place for
a shite. Once the ideal spot has been located, no amount of pleading or persuasion
will get them to move. Today’s perfect place is in the middle of the cricketpitch.
About 50 people are watching your dog produce a steaming pile. If Dr Who’s Tardis
had appeared in the exact same space it would be attracting less attention. You
dip your hand into your pocket, into another pocket, and into every possible
crevice in your clothing – You numpty. You have forgotten the poop bags, and all
these interested onlookers are staring, waiting for you to clear up the crap.
No problem you say, I’ll just hit the Magic Reset button for half an hour ago and
remember to collect the poop bags from the car.
Situation 2
I arrive downstairs
in the morning to find that Daisy has ransacked the bin and strewn chewed up
food wrappings across the floor.
Me - ”What the heck is all this mess”?
Daisy - “I call it recycling”.
Me - “You’re a bad dog. If I had a Magic Reset button, we could put everything back as it was”.
Daisy - “That’s a brilliant Idea. I’d get to go bin foraging all over again”.
Situation 3
Remember that rock band that were playing at your local
Odeon 30 years ago? The tickets were just £10 at the box office and had no rip
off booking fees? If you want to see the same band now they are playing six sell
out concerts a year in sports arenas where you might catch a glimpse of the
action on the big television monitors. Tickets are £200, a bottle of beer is
£10. Tell me that you wouldn’t have bought those tickets back in the 1980’s –
if only you had a Magic Reset button.
Situation 4
Just woken up with an almighty hangover? The drummers from
20 thrash metal bands are having a “who can play the loudest” competition
inside your skull? You are desperate for a glass of water, but the slightest
movement might induce vomiting? You have feeling a that you didn’t get round to
cleaning the toilet after you projectile vomited last night? Do you remember saying “I can only stop for
two pints, then I have to leave”? With Magic Reset you can do just that.
On reflection if I did have a real Magic Reset button I’d
just make a fortune by hiring it out to Donald Trump. I think he would get more
use out of it than most ordinary people.
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