Calm Down Karen

 If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is: Discussions With My Dog:

Daisy is a friendly dog, her motto in life can be summed up in the words of Bill and Ted (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure) – “Be excellent to each other”. Not everybody follows this philosophy – especially Karens.

Who is Karen? Karen is a stereotype - an opinionated, over entitled, white, middle-aged women who has made complaining into an art form.
Fortunately Karens are relatively easy to spot because they come with the trademark hairdo 

Sometimes, Karens will go incognito, but will usually give themselves away verbally, for example;

• A snide comment that is just loud enough for the person they are disrespecting to hear.
• Making a whole string of unreasonable demands.
• Conversation is generally one way traffic. They aren’t listening to you.
• Repeating their demands on a continuous loop.
• No sense of humour.
• If challenged they will completely deny they have any Karen characteristics.
• (If in any doubt – the clincher) When the level of service from a shop assistan,t or the quality of goods doesn’t meet expectations Karen will announce, in a very demeaning tone, “I want to speak to the Manager”?

Karens do not like dogs like Daisy... 

- Why is she taking up so much room on the pavement?
- Why is she running off the leash, completely out of control?Why do dogs drool / have dirty paws / bark / do other things dogs are generally designed to do.

Whether it’s your mum, your sister, your wife, or your friend, we all know a Karen. In her quest to make the world a slightly better place Daisy suggests you pass on the following advice to the Karen in your life;

 If you don’t have anything positive to say, then shut up.

The guy in the retail shop earning minimum wage doesn’t get paid enough to listen to your shit.

Driving the kids the half a mile to school in your 4 litre 4x4 is excessive. Parking in the restricted zone outside the school will save you 5 minutes, but you’ve probably blocked the school bus and caused a huge tail back.

The dog in the park just wanted to say hello. The muddy paw prints on your spotlessly white Dolce and Gabbana trousers add character to your outfit.

Calm down and be excellent to each other. 

Editor’s note - If your name actually is Karen, you are 40 + years old, wear your hair in a short blonde bob and you are nothing like this whatsoever, then please address your concerns to the Manager of this web site. A full apology will be forthcoming.

Alastair and Daisy