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Welcome to my Blog

FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

ADMISSION
The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
A big thank you to the internet for allowing any old twat to have a website.

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Annoying Habits

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.


Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is: Discussions With My Dog:


The Silky Spoon

The other day I was accused of using the Silky Spoon. That’s when you make a cup of tea for yourself and stir extra quietly so you don’t get caught for selfishly not offering to make a cup for anyone else.

People in our house have sharp ears, but Daisy the dog has a military grade sonar detection system. The dog treats are kept in a tin on the highest shelf in the cupboard. If the tin is moved Daisy will miraculously appear from wherever she was within about 10 seconds. Daisy can hear the treats tin being opened from further away than a hungry shark can smell blood in the water.

Most annoying habits of all time

The subject of this week’s blog is annoying habits.  Here is the Discussions with My Dog list annoying habits that should only be committed if they have genuine comedy value:

The silky spoon - or more precisely getting caught with the silky spoon.

“Phaffing around” – You’ve told the dog it’s time for a walk, but it takes you 10 minutes to actually get out the door, because you can’t find something like your shoes, or the keys. Then you realise you’d better use the toilet before you go out etc. All the while the dogs are getting more and more agitated. Daisy has no patience for “phaffers”.

     Leaving empty cartons in the cupboard or the fridge. That’s plain lazy and really annoying. The next person thinks “Ah, a chocolate biscuit” only to find nothing but empty packaging.

     Turning the batteries around the wrong way in the TV remote.

     Repeatedly singing one line from a really annoying song such a Baby Shark – because you know whoever is listening will have that tune in their head for the rest of the day.

     Farting in an enclosed space, such as an elevator.



   
Alastair and Daisy






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