Daisy sits in the director's chair

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is: Discussions With My Dog.

This week Discussions With My Dog are giving Hollywood a makeover. Daisy shares her thoughts on 10 iconic films and in some cases suggests how the scripts could be improved.

1. The hound of the Baskervilles
Sherlock Holmes catches the hound inside 10 minutes by luring him with a jumbo bag of doggie treats.

2. Halloween
Don’t those people get it? After 11 films you’d think they would have learnt to leave town on 31^st October.

3. Gone with the Wind
Rhett Butler has been fighting in the Civil War. Good rations were hard to come by and he’s been living off beans and coffee for months.  He returns home with severe flatulence. Maybe Scarlett O’Hara won’t notice, as long as he stays outside the chronic farting will just be ‘Gone with the Wind’.

4. Jaws
People who drop plastic in the oceans get their legs chomped off by great white sharks.

5. Titanic
Since they left port in England, the Captain has had to endure Celine Dionne wailing ‘My heart will go on’. Quite frankly it is driving him nuts – he won’t last the voyage to New York.  He sends an order to the bridge “full steam ahead due north, don’t stop until we hit something.”

6. Star Wars III – closing scene when Darth Vader lays dying;
Vader  “Luke, there is something I must tell you”.
Luke “I know, you are my father”.
Vader “That’s what I thought. But I have now discovered the truth. I was away from home a lot before you were born, despatching enemies with my light sabre. Your father was actually the milkman”.
Luke “But I am destined to learn the ways of the Jedi”.
Vader “Obi Wan was wrong, he should have sent you to the Dairy to learn your apprenticeship”.

7. American Pie
Great film, but what a terrible waste of a pie.

8. Layer Cake
This film was released under false pretences. Daisy watched the whole thing and didn’t see a single slice of cake.

9. Driving Miss Daisy
Not seen the film but this sounds perfect, her own chauffeur driven ride to the park.

10. Jurassic Park
Daisy doesn’t want to be a lurcher anymore, she wants to be a velociraptor.

Alastair and Daisy