Dogs don't diet

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

This week Daisy and I are discussing diets.

If you need to lose some weight and are considering what diet would be the most effective this blog will be of no help whatsoever. Nevertheless, here is Daisy’s take on the ten most popular diets.

1/ Calorie control diet

Me – you have to weigh all your portions and calculate your calorie intake.

Daisy – I’m not very good at maths, I’m a dog.

 

2/ Weight Watchers

Me – you have a weekly meeting with the other dieters and get weighed. If you have lost a couple of pounds, they give you a begrudging round of applause. 

Daisy – what if you haven’t lost weight?

Me - you get publicly fat-shamed.

3/ The Atkins Diet – low carbohydrate with special snack bars.

Me – I call this one the Fatkins diet – because it sounds funny. I imagine a guy called Terry Fatkins, he’s started every diet in the book but he has the willpower of a woodlouse. By day three he’s back on Mars Bars for breakfast and hasn’t lost a single pound.

Daisy - Come on Fatkins, get the lead out and let’s go run round the park.

 

4/ No Carb Diet – no bread, starch or potatoes

Me – not sure if I could give up chips, sandwiches or pastries.

Daisy - I wouldn’t give those up either.

 

5/ Mediterranean Diet – fish, fresh veg and olive oil.

Me – I wonder if that includes Pizza.

Daisy - I love pizza, but can you leave some more cheese and sauce on the crusts when you give them to me.

 

6/ Flexitarian diet – mainly vegetable, with the odd meat dish when necessary

Daisy – can I have meat and no vegetables.

Me – as long as you are being flexible.

7/ High Fibre diet

Daisy – what does that mean?

Me – not really sure, maybe bran flakes for breakfast and baked beans for dinner?

Daisy – I’m willing to try, but can you deal with the farting?

 

8/ Tex Mex – Spicy Burritos and hot chilli dogs

Me – sounds a bit volatile.

Daisy – better leave the back door open, bowel control will be a close call.

 

9/ Nutritious shake diet – mix of random and bizarre ingredients pulped together in a blender

Me – sounds delightful. 

Daisy – Daisy’s do not like swamp juice – see our other post – here - for more details.

 

10 / The beer diet

Me – Confession I made that up, but it’s the only way I’m going to get a six pack.

Daisy – I don’t mind if you stop at the pub when we go for a walk.

 

Alastair and Daisy