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FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

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The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2020

2020 Marathon Challenge

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

2020 LONDON MARATHON

Daisy and I were all packed up in the car and headed to the beach for a Sunday morning stroll. Our route was, however, closed to traffic because a marathon was taking place. I should say that running 26 miles or so is an incredible feat and marathon’s do raise a lot of money for good causes … but

Blocking the roads caused us to take a massive detour and cut short Daisy’s walk. If they want to run, can’t they do it in a more convenient place, like the pavement, or the beach or the park? Why not put all that energy to good use, set up a giant hamster wheel and connect them up to the national grid.  

I asked Daisy what she thought about the marathon. She quoted Shania Twain “That don’t impress me much”.
“How so” I asked. If you’ve read about Daisy’s exploits, you’ll understand she is a full-on dog, she does not do things by halves. Daisy explained this by giving me a history lesson (please excuse any historical inaccuracies, this is her version).

A brief history on Ancient Greece

Back in 490BC the Greek City state of Athens was having a spot of bother with an invading Persian army. They decided to call on Sparta for assistance as the Spartans had a reputation for being handy in a scrap. The City elders needed to dispatch a message, so they called on their champion long distance runner, a chap called Pheidippides.

City elder:         “Pheidippedes, Athens is in desperate trouble. We need you to go to Sparta for aid.”

Pheidippedes:   “What’s their hashtag? I’ll send a message on Twitter”.

City elder:         “Unfortunately the internet won’t been invented for another 2,500 years”

Pheidippedes:   “OK, how far is it”.


City elder:         “About 26 miles”.


Pheidippedes:   “No problem, I’ll get the bus”


City elder:         “Sorry, even if buses had been invented, there would be Government cut backs, rural bus services have been cancelled at the weekend”.

Pheidippedes:   “We must have a horse”


City elder:         “It’s over a steep mountain path, a horse won’t make it”.

Pheidippedes:   “And you say this is urgent”?


City elder:         “Indeed, you’d better get on your bike”.

Pheidippedes:   “Don’t tell me, bikes haven’t been invented”?



So, Pheidippedes ran 26 miles to Sparta, delivered the message and hot footed it all the way back to Athens. On his return he donned his armour to fight the Persians at the battle of Marathon. Sadly, Pheidippedes perished from his exertions.

World marathon challenge 2020

So, if modern day marathon runners wish to impress Daisy, they should do it the traditional way. Once they have finished the run, instead of one of those shiny silver insulation blankets, they should be issued with a helmet, breastplate, shield and spear. Greek armour was cast in bronze and the shield alone weighed about forty pounds. The runners should then line up in formation to face the onslaught of about a million Persians warriors. If I received a link to a ‘just giving page’ for a guy who was willing to do this I would donate generously to his chosen charity.

Greek infantry  soldier sponsored by Nike

Alastair and Daisy

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