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Welcome to my Blog

FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

ADMISSION
The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
A big thank you to the internet for allowing any old twat to have a website.

Saturday, April 25, 2020

cat vs dog

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.





In the 14th Century the English and French were at war for 100 years. That was short lived compared to a rivalry that has been going on for millennia – dogs versus cats.

In this blog Daisy and I are delving into the age-old mystery of which animal makes the better pet? So there is fair representation on both sides we have a special guest to take part in this debate – Cat. Our cat has a name but according to Daisy cats are too stupid to understand people words so, there isn’t any point giving them a name.






The debate

Daisy – Dogs understand their name. If you call a dog’s name, they will come.
Cat – this is partly true. Some dogs only respond when they want to. Have you heard of Fenton? 

Daisy – Dogs help-out with the household chores. If a morsel of food accidentally drops off your plate, a dog will be there to hoover it up.
Cat – if nobody is watching, Daisy hoovers up the food from unattended plates, or off the work surfaces.

Daisy – Dogs can do useful jobs, they can be guard dogs, guide dogs, police dogs or sheep dogs. Cats are basically like people on benefits. They laze around the house expecting someone else to look after them.

Cat – we have better hygiene. A cat wouldn’t ever consider rolling in fox shit.
Daisy – you can give a dog a bath. Ever tried washing a cat in the bath – your hands & arms will look like they’ve been through a shredding machine.

Daisy – a dog is always pleased to see you. Leave the house for 10 minutes or 5 hours, the dog will rush to the door to say hello, I’ve missed you. The only time a cat is ever interested in a person is when it wants feeding.

Cat – we’re independent, self-sufficient creatures. You can leave us at home all day and not have to worry whether we have chewed up your best pair of shoes.

Daisy – a dog is your companion; you can take us out for a walk.
Cat – you’ve just got home after a long day at work. Outside It’s cold, wet and dark. A cat is happy to curl up next to you by the fire.

Cat – we get rid of pesky vermin like mice and rats.
Daisy – I also keep the garden clear of pesky vermin, especially cats.


Conclusion

After carefully listening to both sides of the debate I can’t remember why we thought getting either a cat or a dog was a good idea.





Alastair, Daisy and Cat

2 comments:

  1. A house isn't a home without a dog. I would say the same about cats if only they would leave the birds alone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you do decide to get a cat & want it removed Daisy can provide the service for a small fee. She accepts most currencies but would prefer payment in rawhide chews or doggy biscuits.

    ReplyDelete