what makes happiness

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

Today we were discussing self-help books. 

These are books, often written by celebrities that instruct you how to improve yourself. There are two schools of thought about self-help books; the first is they are written by a bunch of charlatans who are just cashing in on your insecurities. The second is that if you follow their advice you can improve your life in ways you would never have imagined yourself. Another interesting comparison is that self-help books are a bit like tattoos. Either you have never read a single one, or the chances are you’ve bought about a dozen.

Self-help books cover a relatively small number of aspirational categories, how to make yourself wealthy, how to gain confidence and how to lose weight. So, I asked Daisy, do you know any people who are (i) poor, (ii) shy or a bit insecure or (iii) fat? Daisy looked at me to say ‘I certainly do. Unless you hadn’t noticed Dad, you could lose a few pounds yourself’. So clearly self-help books aren’t reaching everyone.

Daisy, being a dog has never read a book. When she was going through her puppy stage, she did chew up a couple of books, leaving a large soggy pile of confetti on the carpet. Nevertheless, there are a few things that she can tell us all about being happy.

It’s very easy to observe what makes Daisy happy or excited, roughly in this order;

1.        Foxes, cats, squirrels or other furry animals
2.        The lead
3.        The food-bowl
4.        A tennis ball

I should point out this is not a self-help blog. Wearing a lead will not make you happy (unless you are into the bondage / BDSM thing).  

I shall explain these things in comparative human terms.

1. Know your enemies. Do not take any shit from these people (another warning - please avoid inflicting violence or other criminal or anti-social activity). If someone does something that offends you or is behaving like a dick, don’t accept it, tell them.
2. Going for a walk or other form of exercise is actually quite good for you.
3. Eating is also good for you. Daisy likes to keep a good balance between (2) and (3).
4. Daisy doesn’t retrieve the tennis ball like a Labrador or a Spaniel would, she carries it round with her for the whole walk. I think the lesson here is if you have something of value, take care of it. 

This blog is brought to you free of charge. It might save you a few quid the next time you are browsing through a bookshop.

Daisy says "chill" 

Alastair and Daisy

new technology vs old technology

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

Today’s subject is unnecessary technology. It’s quite probable that I will come back to this subject in future discussions with my dog.

pointless inventions

It seems wherever I look there is some unnecessary technology that I either don’t understand or fail to understand why it exists. The high-street and the internet are full of gadgets and accessories that nobody really needs. The Japanese appear to be responsible for inventing most of it and the Chinese have taken over mass producing it. For example, Asia sells a whole range of toilet seats that play musical tunes – why? If I want music whilst using the toilet, I can resort to bodily functions to make a few trumpet noises, although I can’t hold a tune.

check out this link for the 12 most pointless inventions ever manufactured 

How technology affects us negatively

The particular technological advance annoying me today is the push / pull handbrake button on my car. This piece of kit works perfectly, I can’t fault what it does. But this little button has replaced what a car should have, a levered handbrake. This old fashioned device is in exactly the place where I want a handbrake to be and can be used to execute handbrake turns. I have to be completely honest and admit I’ve never attempted a handbrake turn. It’s a trick that rally drivers do to spin the rear end of the car around tight hairpin bends. The handbrake turn looks epic, with the car ploughing up a cloud of dirt & gravel as it rotates through a full 180 degree turn. The point I’m making is that I have been denied the privilege of performing a handbrake turn if I wanted to. The silly little button has deleted the fun option.

Daisy's response 

So, what is Daisy’s take on this? Daisy has her own manoeuvre which can be best described as the paw-brake turn. Our back garden has a stretch of lawn and a couple of raised borders that run most of the length of the garden. After we moved in, we spent a couple of months clearing the borders and laid them with bark. Bark is the perfect surface on which to perform an immense paw brake turn.

Lurchers are sprinters and Daisy is no slouch. She is also a relatively large dog and in order for her to slow and change direction simultaneously, which is an essential part of the chasing game she likes to play with her doggy friends, she engages the paw-brake turn. It looks quite spectacular and it sends piles of bark flying in all directions or tears bloody great lumps out of the lawn. Daisy thinks paw-brake turns are awesome and she completely opposes anything that would stop her being able to use her signature move in the chase game.

At the weekend I’m popping down to Halfords to see if they can fit Daisy with a paw-brake button.

Cyberdog

If you can think of any other technology that is just damn right unnecessary please comment below.

Alastair and Daisy

Service dog fail test

If you've ever looked at your dog and thought, wow, your life is great, what I would give for my life to be that easy. Well, I believe we can learn from dogs, and I'm writing a blog, with my dog Daisy, to teach people how to make life that easy.

Actually I started this blog to sell my e-books Jackpot and The Band, but that has now turned into a side gig.

Post for post Daisy and I are tackling life's challenges and world problems.

This is Discussions With My Dog.

As dogs go Daisy is quite clever. She’s not an Einstein dog and she can’t be bothered to learn party tricks like roll over and lay down, but she does learn things that benefit Daisy. For example, she can open just about any door in the house that has a lever handle by trapping it between her paws. Unfortunately, we haven’t managed to teach Daisy how to close doors.

That got me wondering whether Daisy could have been trained to be a working dog, maybe a gun dog, a sniffer dog or even a guide dog?

A day in the life of Daisy the guide dog would go something like this. (Daisy’s owner is a blind man called Mr Smith).

Mr Smith -            “We need to go to the chemists this morning to pick up my prescription.”

… a short walk later.

Mr Smith -            “Good morning, I’ve come to pick up my medicines”.

Shop attendant -  “I’m sorry, we don’t sell medicine”.

Mr Smith -            “Where am I”?

Shop attendant -  “In the bakery”

Mr Smith -            “Very sorry, my guide dog must have got confused. Since I’m here can I get a Danish pastry and a sausage roll for Daisy”.

… half an hour of walking later.

Mr Smith -             “I can hear swings and kids playing. We’re in the park. You’re taking me to the other chemist, aren’t you? the one on the other side of the town. You silly dog”

Daisy thinks -        “You didn’t say which one.”

Mr Smith -            “I’ll let you off the lead for a quick run, but we’ll have to go back to the other chemist because they have my prescription”.

… half an hour later, after Daisy has rounded up the squirrels and sent them back up the trees.

Mr Smith -            “Good morning, I’ve come to pick up my medicines”.

Shop attendant -  “Hello again”.

Mr Smith -            “I’m back in the bakery, aren’t I?”

Now watch this service dog go shopping.

On reflection Daisy probably wouldn’t make a very good guide dog.

Alastair and Daisy