Brexit

 

We continue our series of Tales from Sir Dickon, a 14^th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21^st Century to become a modern-day life coach.

Sir Dickon was interested to learn about Brexit. In his day public opinion was quite the opposite. Instead of breaking away from Europe, the English spent a considerable amount of time and effort trying to establish closer links with France – by invasion and conquest.

The medieval view on Brexit goes like this;

Sir D - “Boris Johnson’s tactics were rather weak. He should have offered them a yew branch.”

Me - “Surely you mean an olive branch”?

Sir D - “No, with six feet of yew, you can do this”.
English Longbow - YouTube

During the 100 years’ war, the English fought several famous battles against the French. By the time it got to the battle Agincourt in 1415 both sides knew the routine. A vastly superior number of French knights would line up and charge, ideally across a muddy plough field. The English, armed mainly with big sticks (longbows) and a sheaf of smaller sticks (arrows), would fire volleys until the French were beaten and surrendered. I may have over-simplified matters but I have to agree with Sir Dickon. Yew branches appear to be the answer to settling very complex negotiations in one day.

Historians might point out that this strategy didn’t work out quite so well in the long run. The English armies got their arses kicked by a 14-year old school girl named Joan.

For those of you who are not familiar with this battle please follow the link bellow to Wikipedia.

Wikipedia

 

Discussions with My Dog brings you food for the brain.

Ted the Shred

 

Readers of this blog will know the Daisy is a keen recycler – [see this post].

Daisy isn’t the only dog who is determined to do her bit to save the environment. Discussions with My Dog would like to introduce you to: Ted the Shred – the recycling dynamo.

The local council has informed me they prefer packaging to be cleaned, and for waste-paper to be shredded before being placed in the recycling bin. Clear instructions on how to do this:

Stage 1 – cleaning the packaging. Ted is especially fond of ice-cream tubs and sticky sweet packets. After he has licked the packaging clean, Ted is on a sugar rush and ready for stage 2…

Stage 2 – watch this video of Ted shredding paper.

What’s more Ted’s don’t even charge minimum wage; he’ll be happy to work for a dog biscuit.

Alastair, Daisy, and Ted

Holiday

 

We continue our series of Tales from Sir Dickon, a 14^th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21^st Century to become a modern-day life coach.

The other day, I was complaining to Sir Dickon about the fact that I haven’t been on holiday since the Coronavirus outbreak. Out of curiosity I wondered if people had holidays in the 14^th Century. It turns out things weren’t so different back then. The travel agency business was cornered by the Catholic Church and they offered two options.

The Pilgrimage – best suited to older people who are looking for a more leisurely break. Pilgrimage’s were low budget. Holiday attire was basically a sack cloth shirt and bare feet. Travel costs were minimal, you just walked to a shrine and back.

Sir Dickon preferred the more adventurous type of holiday, otherwise known as a Crusade. You needed a proper outfit for crusading – a full suit of armour, helmet, shield, broadsword and a war horse. At least it included a cruise to a place that was hot and sunny.

On a crusade you could take part in many action activities such as a siege, a skirmish, or a battle. With the opportunity for looting, it was actually like getting paid to go on holiday. On the downside there was a fairly high risk of death, disease, serious injury, capture and/or imprisonment.

Sir Dickon has just booked himself on a Club 18 – 30s holiday to Ibiza. He read the brochure and said it sounds pretty much like a crusade.