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Welcome to my Blog

FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

ADMISSION
The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
A big thank you to the internet for allowing any old twat to have a website.

Monday, February 15, 2021

Brexit

 

We continue our series of Tales from Sir Dickon, a 14th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21st Century to become a modern-day life coach.

Sir Dickon was interested to learn about Brexit. In his day public opinion was quite the opposite. Instead of breaking away from Europe, the English spent a considerable amount of time and effort trying to establish closer links with France – by invasion and conquest.

The medieval view on Brexit goes like this;

Sir D - “Boris Johnson’s tactics were rather weak. He should have offered them a yew branch.”

Me - “Surely you mean an olive branch”?

Sir D - “No, with six feet of yew, you can do this”.
English Longbow - YouTube

During the 100 years’ war, the English fought several famous battles against the French. By the time it got to the battle Agincourt in 1415 both sides knew the routine. A vastly superior number of French knights would line up and charge, ideally across a muddy plough field. The English, armed mainly with big sticks (longbows) and a sheaf of smaller sticks (arrows), would fire volleys until the French were beaten and surrendered. I may have over-simplified matters but I have to agree with Sir Dickon. Yew branches appear to be the answer to settling very complex negotiations in one day.

Historians might point out that this strategy didn’t work out quite so well in the long run. The English armies got their arses kicked by a 14-year old school girl named Joan.

For those of you who are not familiar with this battle please follow the link bellow to Wikipedia.

Wikipedia

 

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