Ted the Shred

 

Readers of this blog will know the Daisy is a keen recycler – [see this post].

Daisy isn’t the only dog who is determined to do her bit to save the environment. Discussions with My Dog would like to introduce you to: Ted the Shred – the recycling dynamo.

The local council has informed me they prefer packaging to be cleaned, and for waste-paper to be shredded before being placed in the recycling bin. Clear instructions on how to do this:

Stage 1 – cleaning the packaging. Ted is especially fond of ice-cream tubs and sticky sweet packets. After he has licked the packaging clean, Ted is on a sugar rush and ready for stage 2…

Stage 2 – watch this video of Ted shredding paper.

What’s more Ted’s don’t even charge minimum wage; he’ll be happy to work for a dog biscuit.

Alastair, Daisy, and Ted

Holiday

 

We continue our series of Tales from Sir Dickon, a 14^th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21^st Century to become a modern-day life coach.

The other day, I was complaining to Sir Dickon about the fact that I haven’t been on holiday since the Coronavirus outbreak. Out of curiosity I wondered if people had holidays in the 14^th Century. It turns out things weren’t so different back then. The travel agency business was cornered by the Catholic Church and they offered two options.

The Pilgrimage – best suited to older people who are looking for a more leisurely break. Pilgrimage’s were low budget. Holiday attire was basically a sack cloth shirt and bare feet. Travel costs were minimal, you just walked to a shrine and back.

Sir Dickon preferred the more adventurous type of holiday, otherwise known as a Crusade. You needed a proper outfit for crusading – a full suit of armour, helmet, shield, broadsword and a war horse. At least it included a cruise to a place that was hot and sunny.

On a crusade you could take part in many action activities such as a siege, a skirmish, or a battle. With the opportunity for looting, it was actually like getting paid to go on holiday. On the downside there was a fairly high risk of death, disease, serious injury, capture and/or imprisonment.

Sir Dickon has just booked himself on a Club 18 – 30s holiday to Ibiza. He read the brochure and said it sounds pretty much like a crusade.

We all need a little more culture

We continue our series of Tales from Sir Dickon, a 14^th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21^st Century to become a modern-day life coach.

“The call of the siren doth ring across this fair land …”

Is the opening line of a poem by the famous medieval bard Simon Spoutshite. Today, most of the population don’t have the concentration span to read a poem, a book or even a newspaper – they just want to watch a video of someone being a dumb ass. We need to rediscover culture.

I asked Sir Dickon to research the internet and find some examples of classic 14^th Century literature that we can share on this blog.

Twelve hours later …

Me “So what have you found”?
Sir D “Classic poetry is lame, I found something much better”.
Me “What might that be”?
Sir D “Porn hub”.