We continue our series of Tales from Sir Dickon, a 14th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21st Century to become a modern-day life coach.
It’s as true today as it was 700 years ago, menfolk
occasionally get back from the pub later than they had promised. We asked Sir
Dickon to let us know some of the excuses that he has actually used.
3 hours late excuse
My idiot Squire, Edmund Arse-hat, drank too much wine and fell down the well.
It took us several hours to haul him out.
Overnight late excuse
There was a case of the plague in the village, so we were all locked in the Inn
as a safety precaution.
One-week late excuse
A Scots army invaded and laid siege to the village. By the end of the week, we
had drunk every drop of ale in the town, so the Scots packed up and pissed off home.
Three years late excuse
Sir Dickon found a notice in the Readers Digest that there was a recruitment
campaign to go on a Crusade. Things got a little out of hand, and, after too
many pots of ale he woke up on-board a ship bound for the Holy Land.
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