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Welcome to my Blog

FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

ADMISSION
The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

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A big thank you to the internet for allowing any old twat to have a website.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

vegan dogs

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vegan masterchef

Daisy, being half Labrador is a glutton. Labrador’s are missing the part of the brain that tells them when they have had enough food. If there is an unlimited supply, they just keep eating until they are sick.

There really isn’t much Daisy won’t eat, but her favourite is whatever happens to be on my plate. Daisy applies a "Tigger strategy" to mealtimes ,as I shall explain;


Daisy “What are you having for dinner”?

Me “Fish & chips”

Daisy “Fish & chips is what Daisy’s like best”

Me “Yesterday ready salted crisps was what Daisy’s like best”.

Daisy “That’s what Daisy’s like second best”.

winnie the pooh GIF


I decided to test this out with a simple experiment.
Me “Daisy what do you think of this; chia seeds, cacao powder, beetroot, spinach, peanut butter paste and avocado”.

Daisy “What are you going to do with it”?

Me “Stick it in the blender & make a nutritious health drink”

Daisy “Go on then”.

A few minutes later the concoction is ready.

Daisy “Looks like swamp juice”.

Me “Would you like to try some”?

Daisy “Just a lick … spit … spit … yuk … swamp juice is NOT what Daisy’s like best It’s icky, sticky, sloppy stuff. Give it to the cat”.

Detox diets. Are they healthy?

Should you ever feel the need to detox or splash out very expensive healthy diet drinks, first check out if your dog will touch it. If they refuse, then it’s probably not going to do you much good either. Personally, I recommend beer, it will not make you any healthier or help you lose weight, but it should make you happier. If you drink far too much beer you can also detox the entire contents of your stomach whilst clutching hold of the toilet bowl.

Mr Cresote from the “meaning of life” can show you an important lesson about over-indulging (be warned this video clip should not be watched during mealtimes).


Alastair and Daisy


2 comments:

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    1. It was supposed to say "implore"... you gotta love auto correct

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