Ancient Chinese proverbs and other sayings as retold by Sir Dickon

 Old Sayings...

We continue our series of tales from Sir Dickon, a 14^th Century Knight of the Realm, magically transported to the 21^st Century to become a modern-day life coach.

Do you ever wonder where ‘old fashioned sayings’ come from? 

I’ve tested out some on Sir Dickon, to find out if they were the same in the Middle Ages? It turns out that over the centuries the sayings have lost some of their original context.  

For example

21^st C – There’s no use crying over spilt milk.

14^th C – There’s no use crying over spilt milk, but you may weep silently over spilt beer.

21^st C - Don’t keep a dog and bark yourself.

14^th C - Don’t keep a dog and bark yourself – unless you are doing your best Scooby Doo's ancestor impression.

21^st C - Actions speak louder than words.

14^th C – Actions speak louder than words, especially when you’ve been eating beans.

21^st C - Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

The last one didn’t exist in the Middle Ages. When you could die in a multitude of hideous ways such as disease, being stoned to death, burnt at the stake or hung drawn and quartered. Getting through the day with just a poke in the eye with a stick was an absolute luxury.

Marvellous Inventions

Sorry, Discussions with my Dog has been off air for a while. Our medieval life coach, Sir Dickon, has been trapped 💁 in the 14th century due to Covid 19 travel restrictions ⛔.

This week, Sir Dickon gives us his view on the invention of the mobile phone.

If you want to send a message long distance in the middle ages, you first had to find a 👴person who could write, pay the cost of a piece of parchment (about £10 in todays money), and send it by horseback - 💲very slow and expensive. The last posting date for Xmas cards was in September 🎅.

BUT...

1) Nobody received junk mail ✉

2) If you were out on the lash, your wife couldn't pester you to find out when you would be home

3) The world didn't stop turning because nobody "liked" your latest selfie 😭 

That being said, on the whole, Sir Dickon thinks mobile phones are a valuable contribution to society because he can access PornHub on the move 💪 😏.  

5 things your dog would like to humbly apologise for

("While Sir Lancelot had his eye on Lady Marjorie's bishop, Sir Dickon had his hand on her sister's left breast".)

 In 1776 Thomas Jefferson famously quoted “Not all men are created equal”. It’s true, some people are more gifted than others. Of course, it doesn’t help when their ego is bigger than their talent. We like our stars better when they have a streak of humanity.

It’s the same in the dog world. It’s a characteristic of being a lurcher that Daisy thinks she is awesome. But she also knows there are times to show you humble side, for instance;

When you’ve just launched an air biscuit that has people’s eyes watering and gagging for breath. You have to (at least) pretend you are very sorry and blame it on what they fed you.

When you’ve done a huge sloppy dump on the pavement that someone has to scrape up with a tiny plastic bag. Again, apologise and blame it on what you were fed.

When you’re drooling at the dinner table. Blame it on what they haven’t fed you.

When you’ve abandoned your tennis ball in the long grass for the third time that week. Make an effort of going to look for it - in the opposite direction of where you left it.

When you wake everyone up at midnight barking at the bottom of the garden. Sorry, but people really needed to know a fox was passing through the neighbour’s property.

A humble apology means you can do exactly the same thing again tomorrow.