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FUNNY, SOMETIMES DISGUSTING, BUT MOSTLY COMPLETE BOLLOCKS.

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The content written here IS the opinion of the writer, and IS based on real people and real events.

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Saturday, June 26, 2021

5 things your dog would like to humbly apologise for

("While Sir Lancelot had his eye on Lady Marjorie's bishop, Sir Dickon had his hand on her sister's left breast".)


 In 1776 Thomas Jefferson famously quoted “Not all men are created equal”. It’s true, some people are more gifted than others. Of course, it doesn’t help when their ego is bigger than their talent. We like our stars better when they have a streak of humanity.

It’s the same in the dog world. It’s a characteristic of being a lurcher that Daisy thinks she is awesome. But she also knows there are times to show you humble side, for instance;

When you’ve just launched an air biscuit that has people’s eyes watering and gagging for breath. You have to (at least) pretend you are very sorry and blame it on what they fed you.

When you’ve done a huge sloppy dump on the pavement that someone has to scrape up with a tiny plastic bag. Again, apologise and blame it on what you were fed.

When you’re drooling at the dinner table. Blame it on what they haven’t fed you.

When you’ve abandoned your tennis ball in the long grass for the third time that week. Make an effort of going to look for it - in the opposite direction of where you left it.

When you wake everyone up at midnight barking at the bottom of the garden. Sorry, but people really needed to know a fox was passing through the neighbour’s property.

A humble apology means you can do exactly the same thing again tomorrow.




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