Haircuts

 Sir Dickon was surprised to learn that in North Korea men can chose from 7 styles of haircut, approved by the illustrious leader. He was downright shocked when I told him that anywhere else in the world you can have whatever hair style you desire.

In the 14^th Century there were two types of haircut for men. The clergy had a tonsure, everyone else had a pot cut. For the pot cut, the barber placed an empty piss-pot on the customer’s head and simply cut around the edge. If you went to a high-class barber shop, they would even wash the piss-pot out first.

The monks tonsure is similar to the pot cut but they also shave a bald patch in the middle.

I asked why monks cut their hair this way? Was it so when an angel flew over the realm he could count the number of men who were dedicated to doing God’s work? Sir Dickon had a different explanation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU28GHMcYxM

Introducing Sir Dickon

 

Throughout 2020, Daisy the dog has been dispensing invaluable advice. Is the world a better place at the start of 2021? Probably not. Perhaps Daisy hasn’t been expressing herself in the right way, or perhaps she just needs some help.

So, Discussions with My Dog have hired a life coach; someone who can dish out plain and simple solutions to everyday problems. Let me introduce you to Sir Dickon d’ Latrine, magically transported to 2021 from the 14^th Century. Let’s see if some Medieval wisdom can solve the conundrums of the 21^st Century.

Sir Dickon lists his occupation as Knight of the Realm and slayer of dickheads. His pass-times are drinking ale, pillaging, wenching and scratching his arse in contemplation. Sir Dickon has no concept of political correctness, he just calls it as it is.

We’ll start with a simple one – time -

How to distribute your time correctly

Modern society is obsessed with time, we measure our life by the hour, the minute, and the second. Sir Dickon says there are just 4 important times in a day

• Arise at sunrise
• Go to sleep after dark
• Meal-time

and his personal favourite

• Time to take a shite

Everything else is just the filling in between.

Check in next week for more “Sir Dickon explains…”.

The Gym (again)

 

It’s about that time of year, when you have just finished the Christmas shop and you’ve got a cupboard stacked with delicious food – sounds perfect! You’re going to spend the next week sitting on your arse eating Christmas dinner, mince pies, chocolates, and drinking booze. Unfortunately, there is a price to pay – you’re going to get fat.
On New Year’s Eve you are going to get drunk and make some New Year’s Resolutions – remember the promises you made yourself last year? What about the one where you’re going to take out a new gym membership to help you lose weight.

Before making any rash decisions, you should first consult the Discussions with My Dog guidance notes.

In our previous blog – Dogs are a great motivator of sport – Daisy gave a very honest review of what the gym actually has to offer – see the link.

An average gym membership will cost you £50 per month. You’ve committed to going 3 times every week, so each visit works out about £4. That’s great value. Reality check – by March/April you might manage to drag yourself down there twice a month. Does £25 a visit still sound like great value?

You’ll have to get kitted out, so you’ll need a new pair of trainers (you’ve been wearing your current pair to work in the garden, and they are looking a bit knackered. You can’t possibly be seen in muddy scuffed footwear running on the treadmill). That’s going to set you back another £150.

The gym is usually full of people who exercise regularly and are in excellent physical shape. Guys who bench press 300 pounds, ladies who do a spin class back-to-back with an aerobics class and then a sun bed session - people who have no need to visit the gym. Compared to them you are going to look like an out of condition slob – is your self-esteem ready for that?

If it doesn’t work out, you can always cancel your membership – all you have to do is contact the call centre and ask for the cancellation’s team. Good luck with that – see the link to call centre blog.

Our final top tip is: save this link in your calendar to be read in the third week of December next year.

Alastair and Daisy