Pants

 

Regular readers of this blog will know that Daisy the dog does not like having a bath. In fact, she thinks that hygiene is very overrated. Does she have a point? Most people believe you should change your underwear every day. Here is the Discussions With My Dog top 10 tips why this might just be a misguided obsession with cleanliness.

1. In medieval times the King of the realm owned 6 pairs of pants. The noble classes, on average owned 4 pairs but common peasants only ever owned a single pair. Changing your pants every day was simply not an option.
2. For professional reasons - Superhero’s wear their pants over their tights, as an essential part of their costume. Imagine superman without his trademark red pants.
3. Also work related - professional wrestlers. The logistics of removing a 3-ounce pair of spandex pants from a 300-pound man who has just been involved in a sweaty wrestling match is not something you want to do every day.
4. The confused reason – you have several pairs of pants the same style and colour. If they don’t smell too bad how do you know when to change them?
5. Covid-19 lockdown reason – you have no idea what day of the week it is so how do you know when to change them?
6. The “can’t be arsed” reason – if you change them, you have to wash them, dry them, fold them and put them in the cupboard. Way too much effort every day.
7. In case you have an accident – every day you leave the house you have a 1 in 10,000 chance of being involved in a serious accident. A common reaction to impending serious injury is to soil yourself. Why would you risk messing up a clean pair of underwear under those circumstances?
8. As a school-boy - You have been the victim of an atomic wedgie. It’s not a case of not wanting to change your pants, you are going to need a surgical procedure to remove them from your arse crack.
   
9. The save the environment reason – every wash wastes valuable electricity and water.
10. They are your lucky pants – who can argue with that?

     Alastair and Daisy